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Stroking the pet peeve until it growls.
Grr. I'm absolutely sure that there should be a ban on fanfic including my pet peeves. (I hate "pet peeves" as a description too. Because obviously the things that bother me are wrong and making them sound unimportant is not helpful.)
1) People should not have accidental babies they don't want and raise them themselves anyway while forcing the other responsible party to help. That's never going to work. At best everyone is merely content but knowing there was something better and they missed it. At worst it's going to be an inescapable situation with on-going abuse.
2) Fic that doesn't show the sex cannot show the childbirth scene in any more detail. If it squicks you to write the ooey-gooey kinds of sex scenes, then you cannot include graphic descriptions of placentas splatting or squeezing blood from the cord into the baby or ripped vaginal walls that require surgery. That's just ghastly and I'm sick of women who write this shit saying semen is gross and they don't want to mention it ever.
3) If you have to include blow-by-blow descriptions of childbirth that make it sound like it's one of the go-to methods at Guantanamo, I want to see there being some resentment. Someone should get blamed. And it shouldn't be the female character saying, "You are never going to touch me again." I don't like the association that all sex causes pregnancy or that women don't want sex when they don't want to get pregnant. That's not the point of being a woman. And it's not the point of a loving relationship. If the laboring character wants to scream, "I'm going to weld a condom onto your dick! You'll never get it off again!" That, I would find amusing.
4) Stories should always mention that the characters took precautions, even if it's not harped upon because otherwise it makes it sound like once you're a grown-up contraception magically happens. It's irresponsible and it's a bad plot device because we all know when you don't say something about the precautions, you're going to make the character pregnant.
5) As long as we're living in a fantasy world, why can't people have to do something deliberate to conceive instead of prevent?
1) People should not have accidental babies they don't want and raise them themselves anyway while forcing the other responsible party to help. That's never going to work. At best everyone is merely content but knowing there was something better and they missed it. At worst it's going to be an inescapable situation with on-going abuse.
2) Fic that doesn't show the sex cannot show the childbirth scene in any more detail. If it squicks you to write the ooey-gooey kinds of sex scenes, then you cannot include graphic descriptions of placentas splatting or squeezing blood from the cord into the baby or ripped vaginal walls that require surgery. That's just ghastly and I'm sick of women who write this shit saying semen is gross and they don't want to mention it ever.
3) If you have to include blow-by-blow descriptions of childbirth that make it sound like it's one of the go-to methods at Guantanamo, I want to see there being some resentment. Someone should get blamed. And it shouldn't be the female character saying, "You are never going to touch me again." I don't like the association that all sex causes pregnancy or that women don't want sex when they don't want to get pregnant. That's not the point of being a woman. And it's not the point of a loving relationship. If the laboring character wants to scream, "I'm going to weld a condom onto your dick! You'll never get it off again!" That, I would find amusing.
4) Stories should always mention that the characters took precautions, even if it's not harped upon because otherwise it makes it sound like once you're a grown-up contraception magically happens. It's irresponsible and it's a bad plot device because we all know when you don't say something about the precautions, you're going to make the character pregnant.
5) As long as we're living in a fantasy world, why can't people have to do something deliberate to conceive instead of prevent?
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I've read some blogs by women who chose to give birth at home, without medical staff assistance (say, with a family member, or alone) and while I do think they sound kind of kooky, they have a respect and reverence for the work of birthing a baby that I'd kind of like to see in fic, too. After reading those real-life accounts, I definitely don't want a baby, but I understand a lot more why some other women aren't terrified of childbirth.
If I have to read one more "the water broke, better run for help because the baby will be here immediately!" fic, I'm going to hurl.
Also, it should be possible to write childbirth in the same "emotional reaction" way that it's possible to write sex-- the written equivalent of showing the face and hearing the sounds, but no explicit details.
I read a fic the other morning, and it was depressing and without resolution or I would've recced it to you. But in it the person carrying the child felt sad after having the baby because the baby didn't belong solely to them anymore, but had to be shared. I thought that was a really interesting viewpoint.
I want a "warning: postpartum depression" fic. Yeah. :D
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