movie: Breakfast With Scot

I watched Breakfast With Scot, via Netflix streaming. I liked it, but only sort of. Some of the problem is my lack of sympathy for the characters. Some of it was that I watched it piecemeal. Some of it was that the story didn't seem realistic. Some of it was the comedic timing.

We've got a story of closeted gay men, one who is a former hockey player now a sports-caster. The other is a lawyer or something. Through some not-really-clear family connections, they end up with temporary custody of a boy, Scot. ( cut for spoilers )

It stars that guy who was Ed on the show of the same name. It's a Canadian movie. I like Canadian movies. But this was only tolerable. I mean, it would have been unwatchable if it had been an American movie, especially big-studio movie, about gay sports playing guys who inherit a kid. Because for that to have a "happy ending" they would have had to "Come to Jesus" and marry women and fuck their own babies into existence while the child of the drug addict dies of needle-inflicted disease and everyone cries but no one is actually sad.

movie: Beyond Sherwood Forest

Today we finished Beyond Sherwood Forest.

It reminded me of the book Eragon in that it's visibly and noticeably cribbed from every other fantasy book and movie out there.

Most of the acting in this was mediocre. Julian Sands was great, as usual, despite having some really bad scripting. Without him, this would have been almost unwatchable.

You'll have to excuse my enjoyment of this because, really, a large part of it is what I bring with me. Robin Hood is one of my favorite mythos.

[I tried and tried to like Arthurian legend stuff, but Arthur is a rat-bastard who should have been drowned in the cradle lest he grow up to be the oath-breaker he was. As much as Arthur is fictional, I hate him for destroying the actual world. There's enough historical evidence for Arthur's story to have been at least cobbled together from actual people. So, in my mind, Arthur is the cornerstone of the successful spread of the religious plague called Christianity. That he did so while relying upon the magic of the people is appalling and tyrannical. He's not a hero. He's the asshole villain who won and rewrote history.]

Robin Hood is an early Batman for me. He's a normal kid in a well-to-do family until tragedy strikes. Then he works really hard and develops mad skills, but they are skills anyone could learn with enough effort. Then he uses those skills to help regular people. In some ways I like Robin Hood better because he gets the girl too. Batman has always suffered in that regard.

So. I came to this movie thinking, Robin Hood and a dragon, it's going to have to try in order to suck. But oh oh oh they tried. Cliche after cliche after cliche. They used the iconic shot from Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, flaming arrow and all. They had villain with the dragon's heart. They had sword fights that were choreographed by watching Star Wars movies and stealing those moves, including the whole narrow walkway business. There were bits from Labyrinth. There's the whole quest stuff with the hero climbing to the top of a mountain. There was "You killed my father, prepare to die." motivation throughout. There wasn't a single thing in this that was original. The way it was strung together from so many pieces made it not plagiarism, but it's not at all original.

Mediocre dialogue, severely underlit scenes--- though in this case, obviously so that the scenery could be cheaply done--- actors who shift accents, lousy costuming, bad action scenes, actors who can't actually hold weapons as if to fight (they looked awkward, then there's the cut and the fight begins with the stunt people doing it. The equivalent of a kindergartner suddenly going from adding to calculus.)

The dragon rendering was good. And the dragon was actually almost a sympathetic character, except for oh ho the baaaad acting and worse dialogue.

And I still loved it. But you probably will not.

Don't shoot tequila when your hand has a rash.

I have this urge to add all the people to the access list so I can complain about personal stuff I wouldn't want aired and archived.

However, we'll be honest, you don't want to read it. My problems are trivial enough that venting will take the pressure off. But it gets really annoying that everything that gets posted is bitchy. I'm definitely guilty of that myself.

It's also a weekend, which usually means fewer people are around. That's always seemed ironic because, as an unemployed person, during the week I get brushed off with "I'll have more time on the weekend." They might, but none of the time is for me; they just know they won't be online and won't see an email until they're back at work when they can repeat the same excuse. I've started to take "we'll talk on the weekend" as "I don't really like you and wish you'd stay the fuck away from me."

Of course, hearing that kind of double meaning makes me angry that it's considered polite to lie to people, polite enough that the lying has it's own euphemism which has stolen the meaning from the original word--- we call that kind of lying "tact". Tact, however, wasn't about saying things that are actually untrue, but rather choosing your words so the truth did less harm to other people's feelings.

I'd gotten myself psyched up to shop for furniture. But that won't be happening. I'm going to run out and buy limes then make guacamole. (I have lemons but it's not the same.) I need to clean because my SO's mother is coming to visit in under 3 weeks. It's going to take that long just to tidy. I'm about to need to buy new jeans. I was going to shop for new bras but the dread overwhelms.

Yesterday afternoon I was asked whether I'd actually called the accountant recommended. (And sure, if you rec something it's okay to check back.) Yesterday night I was asked what to do about an emergency dental problem--- that had been going on since lunchtime. Obviously the answer was, "Well there are a dozen dentists in your building at work, you should have called around until you found someone with an opening right away." But that's not helpful. I guess I'm glad that people think I'm so competent that everything will be handled, but I was dead on my feet all week and nothing got done. I've doubled up on anti-allergy meds to try to control the head goo (which makes me exhausted and headachy, but unable to sleep).

I'm very irritable. I might go take my knitting to the park or something. After the 3 more errands today.

funny but true

Web comic correlating Prisoner's Dilemma with religious morality.
( cut because this is huge, but you probably want to see it once, just not for every reading page reload all day. )

ps. one is allowed to repost these, there is a linking tool provided by the author.

75 really funny t-shirt ideas.

pps. when I said no one was around on weekends, all ya'll were not supposed to keep quiet just to prove me right!