Not a jenny

[seryn]

Made homemade pizza. Washed my new-spun yarns. Fought with the tv some more and finally watched Netflix streaming instead. Finally stopped feeling deathly tired but this was day three of me being unable to get up when the alarm went off, so it's about time.

There's nothing else really to say today, but watch me blather on anyway:

I'm thinking about taking a weaving class. I found one that's um, an hour from here, but inexpensive and they provide the looms. I'm also thinking about just taking the money and buying an inexpensive rigid heddle loom. I have gobs and gobs of yarn and I really cannot possibly knit it all within a reasonable timeframe. Plus I would rather be spinning than knitting. So it's time to seek out another use for the yarn. Weaving supposedly sucks down yarn quite rapidly.

Now that I am more (well, not quite athletic, how about...) exercise-experiencing, I find that I am much more willing to sit on the floor. It doesn't make my back tired or my stomach ache. So that opens the possibilities for buying a loom a lot more. Being able to use a lap loom on the floor makes the in-project storage a lot more feasible.

I'm also thinking I should splurge and buy myself a new monitor. I want a wide-screen LCD. It's wasteful, of course, this one still works fine, but now that most of my TV comes via computer, it doesn't make a lot of sense to hog the very popular living room.

___

Is there a social euphemism for being jobless? I haven't inherited money, I'm not especially wealthy. I'm only 40 so I can't have retired without it sounding the same as "I don't work." I understand that most people who want it to sound like they keep busy or aren't looking for a job say they're "writing a book." But I know people who actually are writing a book and they look like losers when they don't finish it after more than a year with that as the primary focus.

[I'm pretty sure I could write a book if I had any interest in doing so. I know I've had plenty of time and I've not written anything longer than a single chapter, so it must be me. The chapters don't always suck, so it's not my ability. It's my determination. And knowing I lack in determination up front... I would only tell people I'm "writing a book" if I already had it finished and under publishing contract.]

I want to know the magic phrase everyone knows, the one where I can divert attention away and it doesn't become this judgmental conversation and where other women do not shun me immediately. Maybe the only cure for that is having a job. But surprisingly that tends to eliminate the need because by the time I get home, I'd rather kill myself or other people than talk to anyone.

Can I say, "I'm independently middle class."?

Would people laugh if I said, "I'm the evil twin, I sent the good twin off to the salt mines in my stead."?

You know what's weirdest about social gatherings? I learned a lot about how casual introductions are supposed to go from watching Ace of Cakes. The cake guy often delivers the cake and meets really big name people. Like when they met Derek Jeter, Duff sticks out his hand and Jeter says, "Hey man, I'm Derek." Duff says, "Duff." All the reaction to what other people say is skipped over. And once someone's stuck out their hand, you've become "equals". It was incredibly useful last night. Though I personally find it very confusing.

I really should have bought a rename token for my real life long before now. Now it seems kind of pointless and ridiculously complicated. But imagine being a 40 year old woman named "Jenny"*, not Genevieve or Jennifer or whatever, Jenny. And every single person I meet will proceed to call me Jennifer forever. I can't correct them and have it stick. They're embarrassed for me not knowing it's socially incorrect to give my "nickname" to a new acquaintance so they fix it in their heads.
*not really a Jenny.

Comments

[jenett]

I am your twin on "Really not a Jenny." (My legal name is Jennifer, though as you can tell, I don't go by it except at work/legal settings anymore: I'm Jenett everywhere else.)

I was Jennie and Jenny in school, and swapped over to either Jen or Jennifer at the tail end of high school and for real in college. (My high school friends get to call me Jenna, which was the compromise between not being Jenny, and us already having a Jen in our social circle.)

I retrained people to Jenett mostly by telling the people who already knew me as something else (and it helped that Jen and Jenett are very close.) and then by just making a point of using it with new people (and it helped that I was meeting most of those people in a new context, where they'd use whatever name I gave them.)

[seryn]

I have a legal name which is the equivalent of "Jenny". So when I introduce myself, I can't do much about it. I find it somewhat annoying that they project the standard full-name onto my half-a-name. Although it bothers me a lot less now that my cousin is married. (She was named "Jennifer" about two years after I was named "Jenny". It never occurred to my aunt and uncle that this might be offensive either.)

Eryn is my chosen name. My SO calls me Star... This is a picture of "Blue Star" Eryngium Alpinum, commonly called Eryngo. They're usually blue or purple. Always have that spiky stuff, and are frequently considered weeds. It suits my personality and if my mother had heard how common it was, she would have named me after it.


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[thistleingrey]

Hurray for stronger abdominal muscles that let you contemplate things that would've been tedious before.

[seryn]

The muscles help... but a lot of it is in being able to wear better fitting pants. With a smaller ass, there is less pulling on my stomach when I sit down, even in smaller pants.

I do really appreciate being able to work on a large open surface. Especially when wrapping large packages.

[corrvin]

My co-worker is the Jennifer to your Jenny, and goes by Jenny ONLY to a couple of close family members.

Maybe I just live in a weird-name area (my uncle's first name was Johnny, not John; and I have a whole company that we answer for where all the guys are named like "Maurice" or "Albert" but are called "Duke" or "Skippy" or something goofy like that.) but when people tell me their name I assume that's (a) what I should call them and (b) what I should refer to them as.

Also, I went to high school with a Jenny-not-Jennifer whose mother referred to her as (by analogy) "little Jenn-Jenn." My mother and I snickered over that for some months... seriously, if you want to give your kid a cute nickname for their real name, and you start with the nickname form, there's not really anywhere to go, is there?

[seryn]

My co-worker is the Jennifer to your Jenny, and goes by Jenny ONLY to a couple of close family members.

This is why people correct my name in their own heads. They hear the diminutive and prefer to keep their distance socially.

...when people tell me their name I assume that's (a) what I should call them and (b) what I should refer to them as.

That's a strange situation, the reference form is. Because it's almost taboo to introduce yourself in the formal way, but a lot of people still prefer it from children or patients/clients. I'm thinking of when I saw a rerun of Bewitched where Sam meets her neighbor and says, "I'm Mrs. Stevens." The woman is clearly older than Sam. And in that era, it wasn't like people lived together in sin, so it would have been assumed. I found it incredibly shocking even in 1988 that she would meet a peer and insist upon formality.

Anyway, now that people would laugh at you if you said you were "Mrs Jones", I think the "how I should refer to them" part is no longer understood. When I was a child, adults were referred to by Mr. and Mrs. It was important to my parents that I not assume. But children of other parents would sometimes call my parents "Ann" and "Bob". And note, it wasn't "Robert".

I found it somewhat uncomfortable when my dentist flinches (microscopically, but there's that visible delay/reaction) when you call him "Dr [lastname]". He introduced himself as "Tony". I mean, he is, actually, younger than me. So I appreciate the consideration. And I don't really like being addressed formally myself. But when someone whose profession comes with an actual title, you'd think they'd get used to it PDQ.