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serynBleah. I obviously overdid yesterday. I could tell because I had about 4 times the caffeine and some other (completely legal) stuff that usually means I'm burning the wick faster than the wax melts to provide fuel.
Today it was me taking the SO back to the doctor. The doctor's office is this event horizon... not the black hole physicist definition, the kind where Schroedinger hasn't opened the box to check on the cat. You can't tell what's going to happen. Sometimes it's helpful, like for the bus rash. Sometimes it seems fine but they call later when the test results come in. It's just this total crap-shoot.
I bring my magic bag to even the standard appointments now.
For me, going to their office is like Russian Roulette. Which is, admittedly, blaming the messenger. But people go in, and the doctor spins the chamber, and some people are going to die. The stuff the doctors get upset over seems completely random. Can't get anyone to do shit about the feet I could barely stand on (they got better, but I'm still very judicious), but blood pressure 2 points over the "limit" while standing there with a giant man holding my arm and blocking the door.... yeah, can't imagine that not being a scary thing unless I was already dead.
Every time I walk into his office, even to wait for someone else, it feels like there's a proverbial gun to my head. It's horrible. It's extremely difficult to think that these people are there to help people when they say "this is going to kill you if it's not fixed, but we don't know what's causing it and there's nothing we can do except hope it gets better on its own."
About 90 minutes after leaving the doctor's, time enough to get food and relax at home, I get that adrenaline crash. The part where your body's accepted the "we're safe now" message, burned through all the ambient sugar in the blood, and when that tension is gone, I'm out like a power outage. I was good for vegging in front of the TV and drinking name-brand soda. That was it.
I feel both peeled raw and hollowed out. And. Nothing happened. That says this is a massive over-reaction to a relatively normal experience.
I didn't wait in the office. I wandered around and found this place with highly recommended onion rings. They were open. But I couldn't even stand the thought of onion rings. I barely ate a third of my lunch. Then around 4 hours after I got home, the third time I woke up, I was starved and ate the leftovers from the 'fridge.
I am, however, going to go back for the onion rings at some point in the future....
Today it was me taking the SO back to the doctor. The doctor's office is this event horizon... not the black hole physicist definition, the kind where Schroedinger hasn't opened the box to check on the cat. You can't tell what's going to happen. Sometimes it's helpful, like for the bus rash. Sometimes it seems fine but they call later when the test results come in. It's just this total crap-shoot.
I bring my magic bag to even the standard appointments now.
For me, going to their office is like Russian Roulette. Which is, admittedly, blaming the messenger. But people go in, and the doctor spins the chamber, and some people are going to die. The stuff the doctors get upset over seems completely random. Can't get anyone to do shit about the feet I could barely stand on (they got better, but I'm still very judicious), but blood pressure 2 points over the "limit" while standing there with a giant man holding my arm and blocking the door.... yeah, can't imagine that not being a scary thing unless I was already dead.
Every time I walk into his office, even to wait for someone else, it feels like there's a proverbial gun to my head. It's horrible. It's extremely difficult to think that these people are there to help people when they say "this is going to kill you if it's not fixed, but we don't know what's causing it and there's nothing we can do except hope it gets better on its own."
About 90 minutes after leaving the doctor's, time enough to get food and relax at home, I get that adrenaline crash. The part where your body's accepted the "we're safe now" message, burned through all the ambient sugar in the blood, and when that tension is gone, I'm out like a power outage. I was good for vegging in front of the TV and drinking name-brand soda. That was it.
I feel both peeled raw and hollowed out. And. Nothing happened. That says this is a massive over-reaction to a relatively normal experience.
I didn't wait in the office. I wandered around and found this place with highly recommended onion rings. They were open. But I couldn't even stand the thought of onion rings. I barely ate a third of my lunch. Then around 4 hours after I got home, the third time I woke up, I was starved and ate the leftovers from the 'fridge.
I am, however, going to go back for the onion rings at some point in the future....
