My day was full, but not satisfying.

[seryn]

I re-started my sweater today. I knew I was a bit brain-dead but I had to double check whether 240 was divisible by 6. I knew 24 was divisible by 6, but I had to stop and convince myself adding a multiple of 10 did not change that. I think the last time I tried to do that kind of math in my head it was watching Jeopardy and looking for the lowest common denominator, where the 10 multiple would have changed the answer.

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I have a casserole on the stove. I know it's not technically a casserole if it doesn't bake, but tough. I am the inverse Aga-chef; I am the empress of finding a way to make it go on the stove. (Dutch apple pancakes do not need to finish in the oven no matter what the America's Test Kitchen people think.) I have no idea if this is going to be good, I just used everything I had available in the crisper drawer (except the radishes and chocolate chips (and no I don't know why I keep the chocolate chips in there.)) It's got red onion, carrot, red potatoes (peeled), celery, fresh garlic, canned tomatoes, chicken broth, chicken, and a secret blend of herbs and spices.....

Probably the secret blend is garlic powder, black pepper, garam masala, curry powder, chili powder, and Italian seasoning. Yes I realize those don't go together.

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My SO's brother's wife called. It was a strong deja vu conversation because I think we've had it before. It was all about weddings. I don't like weddings. I don't think anyone has a good time at the ceremony. I think the receptions are expensive to host, and it really seems like everyone would be happier if they got an individually scheduled evening with the couple at some restaurant instead. I'm surprised more people don't just have a courthouse document signing. If I were getting married, that is definitely what I would do now. Sure when I was 20, it seemed like those people were cheating their friends of a chance to celebrate, but now at almost 40, I know no one is actually happy for the wedding couple and everyone is there out of a sense of duty and social obligation.

We did detour a bit and talked about gay marriage. She was saying that civil unions were exactly the same except the word was different. I suggested that civil unions have their rights limited to what is spelled out in the law, whereas marriages have rights inherently. So when the world changes, civil unions would need an amendment to the law (which would be contingent on lawmakers doing the right thing even if popular sentiment was against it) but marriages would have precedent set by common behavior.

I still think the people who ran the campaign against California's Proposition 8 did a terrible job. They spent most of their money preaching to the choir instead of in outreach to rural areas and no one pointed out, "This strips away rights from a minority group which currently has them. It takes away equality and returns us to 'separate but equal'. If this passes, we're saying that the majority can overrule the rights of any minority." Instead I saw old Asian women with signs blocking their car windows dangerously (and illegally) flailing at parking.... the signs so important? "Defend traditional marriage!" I guess the Japanese ladies want to go back to the foot binding? The Chinese ladies want to go back to the days when Chinese laborers weren't considered human in California? I don't want to go back to even the Traditional Marriage currently practiced in other states where spousal rape is not a crime. I don't think we need to prevent gays from marrying to save marriage when half of straight marriages end in divorce.

Comments

[sciarra]

Last year in New York one judge ruled that gay people don't marriage because our relationships are stronger than straight ones. Of course, since the dominoes have begun falling and even the governor of Utah is talking about gay marriage. Who knew 8 months ago?

And I do think the run against prop 8 was terribly done. My partner and drove through the central valley at the time and it was the worst experience we've had in California. There had to be a better way to campaign and unify.

[seryn]

When I discovered through introspection that I support gay marriage because it fits my personal beliefs better---- same sex couples breed many fewer children on average--- I started to feel really guilty about it.

Why was it all about me?

The arguments for voting against Prop 8 were so horrible I came really close to leaving it blank. It was actually that hypocritical Asian lady at the grocery store that convinced me to do the right thing.

One of the things I believe is that all people should be a minority in some way. Then they should take that experience and extrapolate it to how other minorities feel.

(Which is my main argument against the people who say, "It doesn't matter what else you are, if you're white, you can't understand [racial] prejudice." Because if I can't possibly understand and empathy isn't good enough, then they have just decided I'm defective based on the color of my skin and I'm not the one who's being racist. Not saying that trying is going to be enough for complete understanding, but deriding empathy is not the way to start a dialogue.)

I'd like to see fundamentalist Christians air dropped into Islamic countries and see how they like it when even things as basic as when stores are open is contingent upon the majority's religious preferences.

I'm not really sure how you do this. ... you pick the best way to get me to buff up my diatribe, no matter what the topic. I'm probably easily prone to argument.

[cornute.livejournal.com]

Next time I get married, I want to have one party a month for a year. My first wedding cost me $500, so I could spend $40 a month on food and entertainment and come out about even.

[seryn]

Interesting idea. I'm not sure I could throw a party for $40, but if it was just cake and coffee sure. And it would be more fun to actually be able to talk to people. I've never seen a bride have the time to make it worthwhile for people to travel across the country like a lot of relatives have to.